random thoughts 13

Oct 18, '09 11:35 PM for everyone

 

i can't believe that it has been a long time since i have written down my random thoughts & feelings... no wonder my mind's a mess at the moment....
i wrote something last night about how i felt but i left somewhere... no worries, i'll get it one of these days...

spent the last hour in bed trying to will sleep to come to me but so many things in my mind... so i decided to write it down....

what am i thinking u might ask... hmmmmmm nothing really, just random questions, thoughts, answers... talking to myself again lolz....

here are my random thoughts for today....

how are you feeling right now???
- confused
- hurt
- love
- rejected
- battered
- broken
- pain

what are u thinking at this moment???
- why...
- how...
- if i deserve this?
- is it ok to let go?
- is it worth it to fight?
- will it still work?
- do i still have the energy to go on?
- do i feel love?
- is it right to feel hurt?
- philippines
- qaiqai
- my lost best
- red horse lolz
- yosi
- I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HERE!!!

what have i concluded so far?
- i need more yosi lolz
- red horse lng katapat nito lolz
- i need to talk to qaiqai...
- i need to write this down so i can sleep lolz
- i need my family...
- i need him ( i havent actually concluded on this one)
- there are other people's needs that i have to think about, more than what i need...
- that we all need to be hurt sometimes to wake us up from the fantasy that we are all trying to build, to make us realize that FANTASY and REALITY are two different words with two different meanings lolz....
- i need to write again because this is the only thing that makes me sane...

so far that's about it... i know tomorrow there will be more & i hope just like everyday, that i'll survive it all... lolz....


-dazed & confused mode-