I sit and contemplate about the present...

I sit and wonder if I'd have done things differently, would my life be different?

I sit and ponder if this is really what I want...

I sit and ask will there be a rainbow after the storms that life has thrown at me?

I sit and sit and wait and wait... hoping that one day I will find inner peace...

lost...

Amidst the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I have somehow managed to loose myself...

And I am scared that I might not ever find me again...

Where oh where have I gone... 

Today is one of those days that I am thankful that God put something extra special in this world... Today is the day when my most loved friend was born 26 years ago ;) God definitely knew she will be great one day :) Today i will pay tribute to the great soul who has touched my life in a million different ways... May it be big or small, she has been a great blessing and continues to be even without her knowing it :)

She's the type of person who believes in the good of everyone and when she gets hurt, asks why does one have to experience pain when there is so much love to be given... She gives her heart out to every person that she meets... She trusts easily, which is both good and bad as she has had her heart broken because of this and one may think that she'd learn not to trust as much the next time, but sadly continues to do so, so when she gets hurt, it shatters her heart into million pieces but then puts them back together again so that it will be ready for the next person that she will meet and get to know...

I've met her through one of those forums in the net and got to know her through chat... we'd pour our hearts out and bitch about life and the people who've hurt us... but then after that she'd tell me that at least something positive came out of it... She has made me realize that there is a reason for everything... She has a great sense of innocent humor upon her and I hope to God she doesn't lose it... We finally met up April 2008 when I went for my holidays back home... I had a lot of mixed emotions as I wasn't sure if our friendship would click in person, not just over the net...

I remember that night clearly... I can still see her running to cross the overpass infront of UST to get to where I was... I thought it was going to be awkward, but I got a big hug and I felt at ease, she has that effect on me :) , i remember the taxi ride, the first margarita ;) and the second and the third and that's about it ;), the dancing, then the sitting down on the pavement because of drinking too much, the offering of "yosi" as opposed to money to one of the street kids :)) and many more after that first night...

I go to her for my sanity, she has this special gift of making me see through things and instilling in me that life has a lot to offer and there is much love out there... She makes me realize that it's not about getting hurt, it's about what one learns from that experience and using it to make things better the next time :) Funny how she can me feel as if she's older because her words are always wiser :)

Fate brought us together when we met online... Somehow the heavens above knew we would need each other to overcome whatever was coming in our lives  :) We have lost a lot of people along the way but managed to hold on to each other :) I am thankful that I found her in one of the crossroads in my life because she has managed to give love without asking for anything in return... She has been my pillar of strength when I was on the verge of giving up... She has always seen the lighter side of life and made me see that as well :) 

To the most amazing girl in the world, may you continue to touch all the lives around you... may you never run out of love to give... and may you finally be happy with that special someone because you deserve so much more :) 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY KAREN MADRID...

Thank you for all the laughter, the tears and most specially the love :) I love you so so much my yaya :)

CHEERS!!!!!

letter to my yaya...

dear yaya,
guess what!!! may wifi kme hahahahahaha tas habang nittype ko itong Nobela ko syo nawala :(( Kaya mega copy ako hahahahaha kaloka pasabugin ko nga mga kapitbahay napaka damit Nila these couple of days >:) 
anyway I was listening to the songs in the OSB that bagets, raprap and yourself, downloaded for me ;) I was mostly listening to the songs 600+ kc I knee na ikaw na nag dl nun... talk about being stuck sa panahon ng hapon >:) :)) =)) then I thought of you... of those times na we were searching for acceptance and love from those so called people that we thought were real... I thought about those laughters and tears and those mega emo moments ;) I remembered staying up late so I could chat with you :) and bitch about things that were happening in our lives... then I felt sad... I felt sad for those people that we thought who were real and who loved us... you know why I feel sad for them... because they are missing half of their lives because they shunned us... maganda kc tyo at mga panget sila :)) =) maging emo ako dahil sa songs mo hahahaha wala LNG... I'm just lucky that u didn't believe any of those so called people and stuck by me... I truly believe we are meant to be ;)
para tyong c Meredith grey at Christina yang :)) soulmates :)) soulmates sa kalokohan hahahaha
I love you yaya and God knows that... you are one of the good things that life gave me... and believe me there aren't many so feel priviledged!!! tabi ka konti naapakan ko buhok mo :)) =))
bsta thank you for staying and for loving me... specially for my negative sides :)) =)) >:) mana mana LNG yan >:)
now I have to sign off Baka ndi na Ito Mapost >:)

♥ much love from across the seas ♥
bebegerl

dont quit

 life has knocked me down a million times last year and then a ray of sunshine came... there was a time when things really looked brighter up until now... life again has thrown some obstacles in our way... but heck i don't care anymore... here's what i have to say to the fates...

BRING IT ON!!!!!

this is who i am :) 092110

( my BIG three ohhhhh :D )

.

        

             sun sets, shadows fall... 

night comes, stars and all...                                                                       

           as the day ends, 

may it take my sorrow and pain away ...

           leave it in the darkness, 

           so when tomorrow comes,

          i can start another day...